Juicy Secrets Forbidden Tales of Lesbian Love

Carol Comes to Dinner

By Mommy Janice

Typically, I would put Angie to sleep by reading her a bedtime story. That changed after our first visit to the Mother/Daughter Support Group. On our way home from the meeting, Angie asked, “Mommy, instead of reading a story at bedtime, would you nurse me?”

Her words warmed my heart, and stiffened my nipples. Our mother/daughter love was beginning to bud.

“Yes baby, mommy will nurse you to sleep. Mommy loves you very much.”

“I love you too, Mommy.” Angie said.

With warm smiles, we settled into our feelings of love and tenderness. Neither of us spoke the rest of the way home. When we arrived, Angie went to her room and got ready for bed. I went to my room. My sex was wet from nursing her at the group meeting, and now the thought of nursing her again caused an even greater flow.

“Mommy?” she called. “I’m ready.

“Be right there baby,” I answered, slipping a nightgown over my head. It was full-length, cream-colored, satin, with lots of lace and thin spaghetti straps. Usually I would wore a robe too, but decided to be daring and not wear one this time.

Angie was nestled in her bed, grinning from ear to ear with eager anticipation.

“Sweetie, are you sure you want to nurse? Mommy doesn’t want you to feel uncomfortable. Mommy only wants her baby girl to do what is right for her.”

“I want to, Mommy. Please, please, please!” she begged.

I slipped a spaghetti strap off my shoulder, exposing my nipple. She licked her lips in anticipation, her mouth slightly open, ready for Mommy’s love. I brought my small breast to her.

Angie latched on and began to suck. Cooing and moaning, she closed her eyes and drifted into dreamland. My sex was raging. I had to squeeze my legs together, hoping the pressure would help. Her body relaxed, and soon my sweet darling six-year-old daughter was fast asleep. I waited until her lips broke the suction. Then I hurried to my room where my fingers found my soaking wet sex and masturbated with a passion I had never known before. The orgasm ravaged my body with wave after wave of searing heat. Finally, exhausted, I melted into the bed and fell sound asleep.

The next day, Thursday, Angie went to school and I went to my office. There were papers to grade, lessons to plan, and meetings to attend. My job as a college professor was rewarding, but that day my thoughts were elsewhere. I kept thinking about the night before, about Angie, and my raging orgasm.

That night we went out to dinner, nothing special, just a quick bite. Then I nursed my baby to sleep followed by another raging orgasm.

As Wednesday approached, I began to think about the next group meeting. Sadly, Angie came home with a runny nose. I kept her home that night. It was bittersweet. We could not attend the meeting, but I did ‘nurse’ her back to health.

The following week, we were both excited about attending the mother/daughter gathering. Angie wanted us to dress alike. On the one hand, we went as mother and daughter. On the other hand, we were like two sisters. My breasts were small enough that I could pass as a teen. We both wore black leggings, a white baggy muslin top, with a V-neckline, and three-quarter-length sleeves. She asked if she could wear make-up “like you have on, Mommy.” I could not resist, so I applied eye shadow, mascara, and lip gloss to her.

Carol beamed, from ear to ear, when she saw us. She greeted us with hugs and kisses (me on the lips, Angie on the cheek).

“I was afraid you were not coming back,” she said.

“Angie had a runny nose last week. I didn’t want to expose the group to her cold.”

“That was very thoughtful of you.” Carol said with a reassuring pat on my shoulder.

We settled into our circle of chairs. I found myself next to Candice, the mom who had nursed two weeks before. Carol called us to order and announced how wonderful it was to have “Janice and Angie back.” The moms and daughters welcomed us with smiles and applause. As before, moms talked about their daughters’ accomplishments. Then the discussion moved to more personal topics. Carol asked, “Janice, were you able to find a time each day to nurse Angie?”

“Yes,” I answered, somewhat shocked she would publicly ask such a personal question.

“When?” Carol probed. I felt placed on the spot.

“At bedtime,” I meekly replied.

“And did you masturbate afterwards?”

Oh my god!! I could not believe she would ask that. I was both embarrassed and aroused. Unfazed, Carol continued.

“It’s natural that you would. Candice does, don’t you, Candice?” Candice nodded yes. “Susie does too, don’t you, Susie?” She nodded too. “So, Janice, did you masturbate?”

Did I masturbate? Oh my god DID I masturbate. How could I possibly tell this group how explosive my orgasm was?

“Yes,” I replied, holding back what was inside me, only answering her question

My simple answer had a big effect. Mothers and a few daughters began to unbutton blouses. Soon several were nursing. Angie followed the others and pulled up my blouse. She had that lovey-dovey look on her face. I too fell into her dreamland of loving feelings.

I don’t recall the rest of the meeting. Somehow it ended and I found myself standing in front of Carol. Looking (almost staring) into my eyes she said, “I think it would be best if you invited me to dinner.”

I felt her power. I felt my weakness. She knew me better than I knew myself. She knew what I needed, before I did.

“Oh yes, Mommy, please can Carol come for dinner?” Angie begged, as only a little girl can beg.

I melted. “Of course, Carol can come for dinner.”

Carol asked, “When would be a convenient time for you to have me over?”

I thought for a moment. “Would Saturday be good for you?”

“Saturday it is,” she said.

Collecting my thoughts, I asked, “Do you have any dietary restrictions? What type of wine do you like?

“None… Chardonnay,” she replied.

“Californian?” I was curious to explore her wine-palate.

“Russian River,” she said, and walked away. Wow, she knows her wines. I wonder what else she knows. This was one incredible lady

Angie and I spent the rest of the week planning our dinner. We decided on grilled salmon, mashed potatoes, and fresh asparagus. I bought an expensive bottle of Russian River Chardonnay, which I chilled. We even used our finest stemware (for which I was later very thankful). Angie wore a bright red A-line dress which zipped up the back, making her look even younger. I wore a strapless mid-thigh royal blue dress with a blue belt and gold buckle.

Carol arrived at 7 pm. She was wearing a very sensual black dress with black stockings. It was sleeveless, fitting tight around her hips and thighs. Her neck was adorned with a simple gold chain. We sat in the living room, chatted, and nibbled on hors d’oeuvres. Dinner was delightful, but the excitement came afterwards.

We were back in the living room. I was sitting on the couch. Angie was again on Carol’s lap. She seemed to be at home there.

The conversation took an intellectual turn. Carol asked, “Janice, are you familiar with Yin and Yang, Taoist polarities, or Hegel’s dialectic?”

I had heard the terms before, but never studied them. “Somewhat,” I replied.

“Take this wine glass, for example.” She dipped her finger into the wine and began rubbing her finger around the rim of the glass. “If I rub it just right, the glass will sing. It is responding to my finger and the wine.”

The glass began to sing.

“My wet finger, circling the rim, causes the glass to sing.” Carol said, with an air of authority. “Without my finger, there would be no singing. On the other hand, without the glass, my finger would have nothing to do. It is the wine that brings out the harmony and beauty.”

Carol looked down at Angie. “Angie, do you think we could make your mommy sing? Would you like to try? Would you be the wine?”

Angie was excited at the idea of me ‘singing’.

“Yes, it sounds like fun,” she replied.

“Alright,” Carol said, “let’s take off your dress.”

She unzipped Angie’s dress and pulled it down, displaying her naked body from the waist up. My eyes drank in her exposed, innocent nipples. My sex began to pulsate. I could feel wetness there.

Carol again dipped her finger into the wine. This time she began to circle Angie’s nipple, first the right, then the left. “Angie, you are the wine and your mommy is the glass. Let’s see if we can make her sing.”

My body was raging. I felt heat welling up deep inside me. I began to quiver. I could only think of my pussy, of masturbating. Carol continued to circle my daughter’s breasts. Dipping her finger into the wine, then gently squeezing Angie’s nipples caused me to lose control.

“Angie, I think she is singing. Look at her body. It is shaking, quivering. Janice, we understand if you need to excuse yourself. Your needs are pressing and can’t wait.”

I knew what she meant. I rushed out of the living room and raced to my bed. Flinging myself on the bed, I pushed my fingers deep into my raging pussy. The orgasm erupted with volcanic fury. Hot lava spewed from within. Wave after wave erupted. Years of repressed pressure exploded. I grabbed the sheets, stuffed them in my mouth and screamed with passionate fury. Again and again, I erupted. The glass! Angie’s nipples! Carol’s circling fingers! Images! They filled my mind with love and lust. I loved my daughter, with all my being.

I lost track of time. All I could do was ride the volcanic waves. I never knew a mother could love her daughter as deeply as I loved Angie that evening. Finally my body gave out. I had no more strength. The orgasm tried to continue, but I could not.

After recovering, I changed my soaked dress, and returned to the living room. Angie was still on Carol’s lap. Carol was reading to her.

“Well,” Carol said, “it looks like you made your mommy sing a beautiful song.”

I said, “I did not know that could happen.”

Carol replied, “Only with good wine, sweetie. Angie, can you sleep with your mommy tonight? I think she has had too much wine.” With that, Carol stood up, kissed Angie on the cheek, me on the lips, and left.

I spent the night clinging to Angie. We nursed, cuddled, nursed, and cuddled until she fell asleep. I slept too. It was the most restful sleep I could remember.

Continue on to Chapter 3

1

Error happened.

Taking Root

By eloquent delinquent

The tailgate on the dirty green pickup drops with a clunk, and the girls line up to get their trees, two by two. Up in the bed of the truck Maddy’s mom Mrs Wheeler puts her heavy canvas gloves on over her petite hands. Together she and another ranger-guy named Lee, who has square shoulders, square jaw, and a square flat-top haircut hand the saplings out. Once in hand, the pairs of Scouts head down the slope to find a spot to plant them.

It’s a glorious day on the mountain, even more incredible than Nicole hoped it would be, and she’s kind of wandering around in a happy daze. The sky is an enormous cloudless bowl of brilliant blue overhead, and even though it’s late morning, this high up the air is still crisp. And it smells so wonderful! Clean air and pine and cedar and that earthy scent of freshly turned dirt. The mountainside they’re working on today was clear cut not that long ago, so they have an unobstructed view of the valley and the hills beyond, a silver ribbon of river (that everyone calls a creek for some reason) wriggling through the basin. The hillside opposite them is a patchwork of brownish, stubbly logged acres, other areas of light yellow-green reforested land, and the deep velvety green of rich old forests and their carpet of evergreens.

She sometimes forgets what she’s doing, just staring at the majesty of it all. Until Amber nudges her or coughs pointedly. Amber grew up here, but she’s still being a good sport about Nicole’s amazement.

Nicole comes back to herself and Amber hands her the shovel so she can have a turn digging. The soil’s loose and a little damp, it sticks to the blade, but it’s not very hard. Plus Amber’s doing about two-thirds of the work and doesn’t seem to mind.

Amber’s one of those super sporty girls who just seem so capable and good at everything. If Amber acted any different, Nicole would be tempted to call her a tomboy, but she’s all girl. There’s none of that angry competitiveness, boasting or looking down at people who don’t play. Amber told her it’s because she has two older brothers. “Believe me,” she tells Nicole, “they have all that stuff covered.”

“What’s it like, having brothers?” Nicole asks when Amber straightens from shoveling.

The girl shrugs, thinking it over. She takes off her baseball cap, tosses it aside, and pulls the tie out of her ponytail. It’s hard for Nicole to tell the color of Amber’s thick shoulder-length hair, it’s so sun-drenched it’s equal streaks of blonde and brown and gold, all these different colors. She wipes her brow with the back of her dirty hand, leaving a smear, but really the dirt is only slightly browner than her very tan skin, then she kind of squints at Nicole and asks, “What’s it like not to?”

Now it’s Nicole’s turn to shrug.

But before she can answer, Amber waves her hand. “Just kidding. I mean, they’re both a lot older. Brad’s fifteen and Caleb’s in college or surfing in Costa Rica or whatever, so I hardly ever see him any more. I mean they’re boys, and they’re older, so they’re gross as shit sometimes, and sometimes they’re mean or whatever, like bullies. But then, they taught me so much, and really helped me get good at these things I do now, I’d never be able to do any of that without their help. So it’s a mixed bag, I guess.”

As Amber takes the shovel and returns to digging, Nicole says, “Well I guess it’s nice that your brothers taught you to be good at sports and stuff, but… I dunno. My sister Abbey can be a total brat, but I think I’d rather have her than two big brothers picking on me all the time.”

“Is she here?” Amber asks, looking around.

“Yeah,” Nicole points. “She’s over with the Acorns, in the kinda peachy dress.” Abbey’s standing off to the side of where three of the youngest Scouts – Astrid, Joy, and Penny – are working as one big group to plant their tree. There’s this one green uniform surrounded by little brown ones, and that’s Britt, the youngest member of the Seedlings, she just turned 9 in June,. Combing her thin brown hair back from her eyes, she looks every which-way, helping them and kind of herding them at the same time. Britt’s still really close to the Acorns, and they look like they’re hanging on her every word.

She’s even trying to get Abbey involved, but Nicole’s seven year old sister stays back a ways and touches her face nervously. She cranes her neck to watch them work, and is obviously peppering the Acorns with questions, but Nicole’s pleased to see that Abbey’s not getting completely underfoot. And it’s kinda nice to see her so interested in the Forest Girls; maybe she’ll join.

Amber shields her eyes and watches Abbey for a moment. “She’s so cute,” she says. “I’d rather have sisters too. Why do you think I joined the Scouts?”

Nicole smirks, “The uniform?”

Amber returns the smirk, takes a step back, and shrugs, waving her free hand at the baseball outfit she’s wearing, the jersey with its three-quarter sleeves, and those really snug fitting pants that are kinda like pedal-pushers, only with a little stripe down the leg. Amber’s got a game this afternoon, so she’ll have to leave early. At least her team’s colors are green and white, so she still kinda looks like a Scout.

The outfit really shows off that even though she’s just twelve, she’s starting to get boobs and hips. Nicole’s really impressed by Amber’s body, has been sneaking peeks at her since they first met. She’s so fit! Fawn may be graceful, but Amber’s athletic. At first it was just admiration, but now, since she’s kissed Lena, there’s a funny feeling that’s even stronger but harder to describe. Amber’s uniform only makes Nicole think about it more.

“Ugh, everyone’s got a uniform they want me to wear,” Amber says, and rolls her eyes. “I like the days where I can just wear some old shorts and a loose crop top.”

“It’s my only one,” Nicole says, a little defensively. “I like it.”

“But it’s cool ’cause, like, you do all that stuff on your own, reading books and being smart and whatever.”

“I dunno, not that much.”

“Compared to me, yeah.” Amber jabs the ground with the shovel. “Lena tells me you two read all these neat books together, like mystery stories and books about teen wizards. I think I’d like reading, if it was books like that. I tried reading my brothers’ books, but they’re all about war or dudes with swords and like princesses chained to rocks or whatever.”

“You… you wanna read with us? The same stories?” Nicole can’t keep the surprise out of her voice. Amber can surf and play baseball and soccer and even does crazy things like rock climbing and shooting arrows. Does she really want to sit around and read the Babysitter Mysteries books with her? She can’t believe that such a capable girl would want to do the same nerdy things that she does.

Amber hears the tone and her head ducks down a little, suddenly self-conscious. She gives Nicole little darting glances as she replies, “Sure. I guess. I mean, yeah. If that’s okay.”

Seeing Amber get so shy makes Nicole feel this big shining ball of pride in her chest. She’s good at something! So she says, “Yeah, okay. And maybe… someday, you can take me to the ocean? I’ve driven past it but still never went in.”

Amber smiles, her white teeth bright on her tan face, and her eyes squint and to Nicole she looks exactly the way she imagines a ‘California girl’ would look. Pretty and healthy and super mellow.

“Cool,” is Amber’s response.

They’re quiet for a second as Amber scoops out a little more dirt. There’s some high pitched, distressed shrieking up the hill a bit and Nicole looks over. Fawn and Cassidy are dancing around like someone’s shooting at their feet. Robin and Tara drop their shovels and dash over. A moment later, Robin darts down and comes up holding a little black snake just behind its head. The other girls take a step back, amazed and frightened, even Tara grabs her sister Fawn’s hand in surprise. Robin just carries it over to the edge of their work area. Nicole sees the snake wrapping around her arm as she heads away, but Robin might as well be carrying a cup of tea, she’s so casual.

Amber chuckles. Her laugh is low and a little rough, almost boyish. It makes her seem older. “Wow.”

“That’s amazing! She’s not even scared.”

“That’s Robin for ya. It’s like there’s nothing she can’t do.”

“She’s practically a grownup.”

“She’s seventeen. She’s been a Scout since she was an Acorn, way before Katie was Tender. You know, she’s got every badge you can get? Not just the normal ones, but the impossible ones too, like Judo and Snorkeling and Trailblazing. Every last one.”

“Wow,” Nicole says, but it gets swallowed up in a sudden yawn.

“Yeah, you sound totally impressed or whatever,” Amber responds with some good-natured sarcasm.

“Sorry,” Nicole giggles, embarrassed. “I’m still a little sleepy.”

“Here,” Amber offers her the shovel. “You finish. Maybe it’ll wake you up.” Nicole dutifully takes it and continues digging.

They got up before sunrise to get here. Mom followed Sophie’s car in the train of vehicles headed up. Abbey snoozed curled up on Nicole’s lap most of the way, and with her drowsy warmth nestled against her, Nicole had dozed off a couple of times, too, even though she wanted to see this wild new landscape unfold as the morning mist evaporated.

They’d driven north for a while, then turned into the rising sun on a narrower winding road that led them up and up. Finally they’d turned onto a dirt road that went up even more steeply, the occasional switchback revealing the line of vehicles in front and behind them. Then they’d come to this clearing, and despite the fact that they’d only been driving for an hour, they might as well have been on another planet or back in time or something.

But here they were, and everybody’s here, even people who aren’t Scouts or their mothers or sisters. Both Katie and the Greenbergs brought their RV’s, and now they’ve got their awnings rolled out from the side and both their grills out and all these folding tables set up and most of the grownups are laying out what’s going to be a marvelous picnic.

All the Scouts have been paired off to work in teams to plant the the little trees. Robin teamed up with Fawn’s big sister Tara, two of the oldest girls in the troop. Fawn naturally got with Cassidy. Hanna was with her bestie and newly-minted Sapling Lori. Britt was supposed to be paired with 7 year old Penny, but was somehow now in charge of Joy and Astrid, too. The only Acorn not with Britt was Heather, who strangely enough was working with Estela, a Sapling who at 14 was twice her age. The two of them adored one another, though; Nicole had seem them together often.

Nicole was hoping to be working with Lena, but Jenny swooped in as soon as they all got there and claimed her. For a minute, she just stood there, feeling set adrift, and it must have showed because Lena immediately hopped back and took Nicole’s hand.

Her deep brown eyes very big and serious, she begged Nicole, “Don’t be mad, okay?”

She squeezed Lena’s hand back and said, “But, I just… I thought we could talk about, you know, what happened yesterday…” In truth, she hadn’t been able to think about much else. She’d played with herself under the covers last night, even though Abbey had tossed and groaned next to her, she couldn’t help it. Her puss was still tender and ready to be touched again, and she’d hoped they’d be able to sneak off and have another affirmation.

But Lena just glanced around, “We can’t talk about that here anyway. It’s a secret, remember?”

Nicole just shrugged and looked at the ground, “I guess.”

“Jenny misses me, Nicole. We’ve been friends forever, since her mom took over the troop. And I haven’t seen her much, ’cause I wanted to spend time with you. But we always do planting together, it’s kind of our thing.” She paused, trying to catch Nicole’s eye. “Please don’t be mad?”

She looked back at Lena, and then at Jenny with her blonde pigtails, waiting a little impatiently. Jenny gave her a chummy smile, and Nicole managed a grin. Because she really did understand now. They weren’t leaving her out, they just wanted to be together, too. It was just disappointing. “It’s okay.”

Lena’s seriousness turned into a beaming, grateful smile, “You’re so nice! I wish I could be with you both!” Then Jenny called Lena and they scampered off. Nicole sighed, trying to be grownup about it, but she missed Lena anyway.

Still, she’s been partnered with Amber, and that’s pretty cool. Nicole’s been as interested in the twelve year old as much as she’s been intimidated by her. And now it turns out that they have stuff in common! Maybe the girl athlete admires her nerdiness as much as she admires Amber’s sportiness. It’s kind of awesome. Things are going so well that she wonders if Katie might have planned it this way.

She wonders a lot about Tender Katie, how much she might understand, how much she might know. She seems to be able to guess how different girls are going to get along, and what mood they’re in, almost like she can read their minds. It seems like she knows Nicole, too, even though she’s so new.

Nicole wonders about other things when it comes to Katie, too. She knows from the other Scouts that it was Katie who made up the affirmation, and the rule about the troop not wearing panties with their uniform. It seems like her Tender is almost guiding the Scouts to their private parts, acknowledging what nobody else will, not even her Mom.

It’s weird, but Nicole feels like she could never talk to her Mom about all her new, wild feelings. But maybe, just maybe, she might confide in Tender Katie about them. She’s seen that Katie’s own daughter Jenny is really candid about her privates – Nicole’s seen Jenny’s muff, and on the very first day, too! Katie must know about all that, and the fact that Katie and her daughter get along so well makes Nicole think Katie would accept what’s happening with her, too. And even though Nicole’s pretty sure she’s paying too much attention to her tingly puss, she imagines that Katie might understand her weird urges and pleasures, and not judge her too much.

As she and Amber unwrap the root ball on their little seedling, Nicole scans the picnic area until her eyes settle on Katie, who’s organizing drinks for the thirsty Scouts. Sadly, no strawberry limeade this time. She’s stacking cups with Fawn’s mom Mrs Kirkpatrick (her first name’s Mary, but she isn’t casual like Katie or Sophie), and it’s kind of fun to watch Katie from a distance, unobserved, just to see the way she laughs or moves her shoulders, or how the loose bits of her blonde hair catch the sunlight. She’s pretty, but it’s hard for Nicole to just look and appreciate most times because Katie seems to see everything.

And at just that moment, Katie looks right at her. Nicole’s heart skips, and she looks back down at her busy hands in the burlap. Together, she and Amber lift the seedling and lower it into the whole they’ve dug.

“Do you have another vitamin packet?” Amber asks.

Nicole starts patting the pockets on her shorts, “I think so.” But after a few seconds of patting, she’s way too aware that she’s got nothing on underneath, just her smooth happy muff, waiting for attention. She’s still not used to not wearing panties; it feels thrilling and kind of naughty. So she just shrugs.

Amber nods to Hanna and Lori working just a little downhill from them. “Vitamins?”

A few seconds later Lori tosses Amber a foil pouch, which she passes on to Nicole. Carefully tearing it, Nicole pours the slightly smelly liquid all around the hole before they start filling it in. According to Mrs Wheeler, the nutrients help the seedlings from getting shock from being planted, and help it to take root in the new soil.

They’re so busy pushing earth back around their little tree that they don’t hear Lori coming up until she’s right behind Amber. For someone so confident, she sure startles and squeaks like a little girl.

Amber’s sun-washed hair swishes as she swings around, “Ah! What?”

Lori comes even a step even closer, standing wide as she stops, her green explorer shorts seeming very short on the thirteen year old’s long lean legs. It looks like she’s not wearing socks with her boots. She says, “That wasn’t free, you know.”

Both girls look at her blankly.

“You owe me for that packet I just gave you.”

This makes Nicole nervous, but Amber just shrugs and asks, “What do you want?”

Lori replies, “One of you should girl-heart me,” but she’s looking right at Nicole as she says it.

Nicole tries to break Lori’s gaze, but she can’t manage it, and she gets really worried. She hardly knows Lori, only talked to her a couple of times during crafts. Lori’s on a different level, and the Saplings tend to keep to themselves. What does she have to tell her? She was afraid a moment like this would happen, somebody calling her out, and proving that she doesn’t belong. Her hands flutter, but she can’t make a peep.

Amber doesn’t seem to notice her turmoil, but she still comes to her rescue. She holds out her hand for Lori to take, saying, “Fine,” like it’s no big deal.

For her it probably isn’t.

Lori obligingly pulls her to her feet with a little heave, and the two girls look at each other for a moment without talking, like they’re sizing each other up. Lori’s almost a full head taller than Amber, but the younger girl is much more fit. Lori looks almost willowy by comparison, her long, wavy brown hair bunched at her collar by a wide clip and fanning halfway down her back, her delicate eyebrows and features seem very feminine next to Amber’s tan skin and strong jaw.

“How do you want it?” Amber asks, almost like a challenge.

Lori chuckles in response and steps in, and when her hands move to hold Amber’s waist she copies the older girl and then they’re holding each other like it’s a slow dance back at school. But there’s no romance between them. They both lean in giving the other cheeky smiles and Lori says, “You first.”

Amber cocks her head, then the two of them meet, touching foreheads and staring into one another’s eyes. There’s a little pushing back and forth, and both girls chortle as their heads are forced back and then surge ahead. Nicole’s reminded of nature shows where deer lock antlers, but those were boy deer, and they’re both girls.

Nicole glances over to Hanna as Amber starts to whisper to Lori. It’s too private to watch, even if she can’t hear what they’re saying. She’s hoping that she might get a clue of what’s going on. Any confidence Hanna might’ve shown at the pool has vanished, she anxiously runs a hand through her spiky blonde hair, and then wraps one arm across her tummy, holding her other elbow. She watches the girl-hearting with an almost plaintive expression. Whatever’s happening is bothering Hanna as much as it is a mystery to Nicole.

Amber finishes and lets Lori force her back as the older girl bites her lip and smiles. One hand rises from Amber’s waist as Lori gives her cheek a brief, surprisingly gentle caress, then it drops back into place, and the staring contest resumes.

Hanna shifts uncomfortably. Nicole feels like she’s dithering, just kneeling there like a ninny. Lori starts to murmur after only a few seconds of girl-hearting time, which seems like bad form by what Nicole’s seen, but what does she really know? She sees Amber’s mouth open in a big, shocked smile after only a few seconds more, and a few seconds after that, the younger girl’s hands flit off of Lori’s waist, and in a flash physically shove Lori back away from her.

“No way,” Amber chuckles, her eyes shining with something brash. “Nah-ah!”

“Why not?” Lori challenges, recovering her balance. “Since when do you mind?”

Turning back toward Nicole and stepping away, she says, “Why don’t you pick on someone your own size?”

Behind them both, Nicole sees Hanna silently nod in agreement.

“That’s not what I feel like today,” Lori replies dismissively, and turns her attention back to Nicole, giving the scrappy twelve year old a wide berth as she saunters over to where Nicole’s still kneeling next to her planting.

Her heart is in her throat as she watches Lori approach. She’s not tough like Amber, she doesn’t even know what’s going on. What is she going to do?

“Hey,” Amber protests as the thirteen year old draws up to Nicole, but Lori doesn’t acknowledge her.

She swaggers to a stop, unnervingly close, in that same wide stance, less than a foot away with her shorts right at Nicole’s eye level.

“I hear I really missed out, not making it to your little pool party last week.”

Craning her head to look up at Lori, unable to control how much she’s blinking, Nicole responds, “It wasn’t a party.”

“Still. You made quite an impression. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to see you.”

“I thought you already knew how to swim.”

“I do,” she says, and she’s starting to do this thing, where she’s swaying her hips slowly, subtly, back and forth, like an elusive dance that reminds Nicole of a cobra.

“Then I don’t get it.”

Lori leans down a little. Her face is pretty, heart-shaped and delicate, she has rosy cheeks, but there’s something in it that’s not pretty at all, like there’s someone else inside. “I’m a good swimmer. I could teach you. Would you like that?”

“I dunno. Maybe?”

The teenager’s wide pink lips curve in a sly grin. “Maybe we could have a lesson today.”

Seemingly far away, she hears Hanna saying, “Come on, Lori…”

Despite her nerves, on some level Nicole feels herself getting annoyed with Lori and all her riddles. “I don’t think there’s any water around, is there?”

“We could pretend,” Lori offers, “we could go find a field and pretend it’s water and I could show you how. You’ve got a daydreamy kind of face, Nicole. I’m sure you make believe all the time.”

That feels like an insult somehow. She starts to feel very alone and under the spotlight, like she’s being forced to go along with something… she doesn’t even know what, or else get pushed out. This is what she was afraid of all along. That she wouldn’t figure things out fast enough, that she wouldn’t really fit in, and in the end she’d just be the butt of jokes that only they understood.

She feels a lump in her throat and her eyes start to well up. She doesn’t want to cry, it’s so stupid, but she can’t think of anything to do that won’t be wrong.

Off to her left she hears a voice bark, “Hey, Lori, what the hell are you doing?”

“Oh Robin, why don’t you go earn a badge?”

“Leave her alone. She’s not even a Scout, you know the rules.”

“I think she can make up her own mind.”

“No, she can’t. Look at her, she doesn’t even know what you’re talking about. What’s gotten into you?”

“Nothing. That’s kind of the problem.”

“Just cut it out,” Robin says, and Nicole finally turns to see her standing nearby with an exasperated look on her face.

“Or what? Are you going to tell?”

Robin’s jaw sets at that and she starts toward Lori, decisively closing the distance. “Yeah Lori, I am telling. I’m telling you. Knock it the fuck off.”

By then she’s standing nose-nose with Lori, staring into the thirteen year old’s eyes, and it’s nothing like girl-hearting. Lori’s visibly shaken by this turn of events, and quickly gives up trying to match eye contact, looking down and away, trying to make it look casual, like she wanted to do that.

Robin tells her in a low voice, “You are out of control today. You could mess this up for everyone, acting like that. So you’re gonna go with Hanna, and you’re going to do whatever she wants. She’s a year younger than you, but still more level-headed. You’re running around acting like a hot and bothered brat.”

Lori’s lips and jaws work, but she doesn’t say anything. When Hanna comes over and takes her hand, she lets herself be drawn back downhill to their own planting.

From a safe distance Lori looks back over her shoulder and says, “You’re not Wonder Woman, you know? You can’t stop me. Keep pushing til you get what you need. You taught me that. Remember?”

Robin spends a good moment with her arms crossed, looking very unimpressed down at Lori. The girl refuses to notice, suddenly focused on her seedling. Then suddenly Robin’s demeanor changes and she turns around and says to the girls, “Good job with that tree. Come on, let’s get you another one.”

Amber takes Nicole’s hand and easily pulls her to her feet, Nicole grabs the shovel and they walk alongside Robin back up the hill, passing the other girls working away. Some of them watch them pass, wondering about the drama from a moment before, but most are too busy. Fourteen year old Estela’s on her knees facing seven year old Heather, their hands are crusty with mud, and they’re wiggling claw-like witch hands at each other, making funny monster faces, and giggling wildly.

“Sorry about Lori,” Robin says evenly, “she was out of line.”

Nicole has no idea how to respond to that, so she just nods like she gets it.

But Amber chimes right in. “What’s with her? She’s getting as bad as Jenny or whatever.”

“She’s spending too much time with Jenny,” Robin pronounces. “That’s where she’s learning it from. If she and Lena weren’t so happy over there, I’d throw Jenny at Lori just to calm her down.”

“She was so rude and bossy, especially to Nicole,” Amber complains. “That’s not cool. Maybe we should tell.”

Robin’s head tilts, as if she were weighing the possibility. Then she tells her, “Don’t be too tough on Lori. Thirteen’s not an easy age. You’ll see.”

This seems to give Amber pause, and Nicole takes advantage of it to glance up at Robin. Her hair is nearly the same color as Nicole’s, though it’s mostly under the beret, just two braided pigtails dangling to her collar with yellow rubber bands tying off the ends. She’s got high cheekbones and full, pouty lips, and her expression always seems calm and alert and just on the verge of having fun.

It occurs to Nicole that she rarely sees Robin participate in activities with the younger Scouts. If what Amber says is true, and she has every badge already, then why should she? She mostly seems to help Katie and the other moms when things are going on. She’s just kind of in the background, but always there whenever something special is needed. She feels another wave of admiration for the TallTree, the oldest in their troop. For a second, she imagines that she could turn out to be like her, and it gives her this happy, inspired feeling.

“You know, there’s an open spot down there, next to where Tara and me are working,” Robin says, pointing. “Maybe you can come down and plant there, if you want.”

Amber and Nicole exchange a glance, and they both shrug at the same time, as if to say, why not? But Nicole’s sure they both secretly know that Robin wants to keep an eye on them. And that’s okay.

So they get another tree from the green pickup and plant it just down the hill from the oldest Scouts. Then they plant two more. Where they’re working now is closer to Lena and Jenny, and she sees them chattering and joshing and basically acting like besties. She still feels a little pang of jealousy at that, but it’s softer because she likes seeing Lena so happy.

She remembers Amber and Robin mentioning Jenny before. Like she’s trouble, or a bad influence or something. But Jenny’s never been anything but nice to her, even if she keeps her distance a little. A lot of the things she does are still confusing to Nicole, but the other Scouts seem to understand just fine. It’s another part of being outside. She thinks of Jenny secretly showing Nicole her puss that first day, and it makes her wonder. Jenny is Tender Katie’s daughter after all. Maybe she knows more secrets than the other girls do. Maybe that’s why they haven’t grown closer, so that Nicole won’t accidentally find out.

Now she really wants to talk to Jenny. But it’ll have to wait.

While they’re working Britt comes over, her three little Acorns trailing along like brown-uniformed ducklings – Astrid with her mischievous narrow eyes, eflin features, and cloud of curly angel white-blonde hair; Joy the wild, free, chestnut haired moppet; and Penny, looking chipper with her freckly face and sandy colored pixie cut. And following a little ways behind is Nicole’s little sister Abbey, looking very unique and colorful in her peach colored sundress.

She and Amber straighten and take a rest as the younger girls approach.

After Britt just looks at her shyly for a moment, Nicole offers, “Hey Britt. Everything okay? Is Abbey bugging you too much?”

Britt grins and looks down and replies, “No, no, everything’s fine. I just wanted to, um, ask you something?”

“Sure,” she says, trying to catch her eye, get her to look up, make her feel less awkward. Though she’s perfectly comfortable with the Acorns and knows all of them really well, Britt is still new to the Seedlings, and obviously anxious about them. Nicole can’t imagine why Britt would be nervous around her – she not even a Scout, let alone a Seedling.

Her effort works and Britt meets her eye. She has these sleepy-lidded hazel eyes, a long, straight nose over a little mouth set in a round face framed by short, mousy brown hair. If Nicole hadn’t met Lena, she would’ve thought Britt was plain. But looking closer, she found the new Seedling has a gentle way that made people feel comfortable, that she hugs people at random, that she’s probably read more books than Nicole, and that when she smiles, it’s like dazzling and the whole world seems good again.

Britt gives her the hint of one of those smiles now. It’s heartwarming. She asks, “I was just wondering if, um, you know when they’re gonna make you a Scout?”

“Nope. Lena’s Mom thinks it’ll be soon, but Katie hasn’t said anything yet.”

Britt looks off to the side when she says, “Well, I think you should.”

“Thanks.”

“And when you do, do you think you could, um… that we could, you know, hang out?”

Nicole giggles softly at what seems like a silly question. “Of course.”

Shrugging, Britt tosses her short hair and glances at Amber, then faces Nicole again. “It’s just, um, we would both be new, you know? I’d be a new Seedling and you’re, like, new to everything. The Seedlings are different than Acorns. They do different stuff, they expect different things. It’s um, more challenging. Everyone else seems good at it, but you know it’s like they all came up together. I’m the only one my age. I was thinking we could, like, help each other out?”

“Figure things out together? Like that?”

Britt gives her the first genuine smile of her visit and melts Nicole a little. “Yeah! Yeah, just like that.”

Nicole reaches over and squeezes the younger girl’s shoulder. “Well, let’s wait to make sure I get in first. But if I do, I’d for sure hang out with you. You may feel new, but I don’t know anything.”

The nine year old nods as she thinks that over. “Yeah, I guess that’s true. I could help you too.” That seems to make her happy. Britt smiles again, almost laughing, then she steps forward and gives Nicole a quick hug.

Chuckling as they part, Nicole just goes, “Thanks!”

“Let me know when you, um… know. Okay?” They nod at each other, then Britt says, “We’ve gotta go get another tree.”

She waves the Acorns forward, and it takes their usual second before they notice and follow. When Abbey traipses by, Nicole touches her arm and tells her, “You be good, okay?”

“I am, jeez. I’m just looking.” She rolls her eyes and skips ahead to catch up.

Amber and Nicole shrug at each other, and go back to work.

After that fourth planting, it’s early afternoon. A breeze comes up the valley, but it’s warm and getting hotter. Almost as if by telepathy, all the girls wrap up their work and head up the hill to the RV’s and the tables. By now they’re piled with chips and veggies and sandwich stuff. Katie and Astrid’s mom Miss Kristanson are on one grill, making hamburgers and hot dogs, and Mr and Mrs Greenberg are on the other grilling shrimp and barbecue chicken legs and these little cornbread patties.

It’s quite a crowd all of a sudden, everyone gathered around tables piled with fresh cut veggies and crackers and potluck salads. She lets Amber go ahead to make up a plate and check in with her mom, while she decides to round up Abbey, just in case her kid sister needs help serving up. A little before everybody came together for the picnic, she saw Britt leading the Acorns into Katie’s RV. Seems like they might still be inside, and Abbey might be there.

Everyone’s crowding the tables and the grill, so under the awning by the door it’s deserted but still noisy. Nicole tries the door, but it’s locked, won’t even budge. She thinks about knocking, but decides to circle around instead. Maybe there’s another door she doesn’t know about.

As she gets to the far side, the bulk of the vehicle blocks out most of the sound from the picnic, and she can hear noises coming from inside. It’s little girls, giggling like they’re being tickled, and making other cooing and awww-ing noises like somebody’s showing them a puppy. But that’s not quite it, there’s something funny about it. Listening to it makes her tummy flutter.

Turns out there’s no door on this side after all. But there’s a stump next to the RV. Nicole climbs up, and by standing tiptoe on it, she can see through one of the windows, even though the miniblind inside is mostly slatted shut. As her eyes adjust, she sees something that makes her heart race. There is a little girl reclined on a wide bench just before her inside. Her head is out of sight below the edge of the window. All Nicole can see is that she’s resting on her elbows, her little body exposed with her unbuttoned shirt laying to her sides. Her shorts are nowhere to be seen and her chubby mound is visible as she waggles her calves and feet over the edge.

Nicole trembles, thunderstruck. She takes a sharp breath as she cranes forward, trying to see more. Seeing a young girl without her clothes on is such a surprise, unbearably exciting. She’s so small, six or seven, her nipples just these cute brownish points on these tender pads of satiny flesh, her soft round belly with its adorable navel, her plump smooth thighs jostling. She feels so sneaky but she can’t look away. There’s something like hunger in her, stronger than just curiosity even though that’s part of it, too.

The carefree naked girl, swinging her carefree legs, now lightly scratching her tummy, is part of the secret. The things the girls do when no one’s around is part of a secret. What Lori wanted to take Nicole away and do is part of the secret. The affirmation Lena showed her is part of the secret. And how it all makes Nicole feel, that soaring, hot, quivering feeling, is part of the secret. It’s only now that she notices the she has one hand between her legs, gingerly cupping herself over her shorts, her muff throbbing as if it called her hand there without her knowing. She can’t resist, and after casting a look up and down the length of the RV, she squeezes herself.

Her tummy knots up and her legs shake so bad she almost falls off the stump. She catches herself and, leaning one hand to the side of the window frame, she looks back in. Gazing at the nude body of the mystery Acorn, hearing those strangely excited little girl noises from somewhere inside the RV, she squeezes herself again. The rush of hot yummy feelings is so much better than just using her imagination. She’s being so naughty, so naughty, and then she squeezes again and it’s even better.

Then, two things happen.

First, she recognizes the tickling, giggling groans of one of the girls inside. It’s Joy, Cassidy’s little sister. And the reason she knows is that she remembers those sounds from when she accidentally spotted her and her mother among the windblown sheets behind their house.

And second, someone else comes into view in the same state of undress as the Acorn on the seat before her, except her unbuttoned shirt is green and her hair is short and mousy brown. It’s Britt. Nicole freezes, wondering how easy it would be to get spotted, even as Britt moves to face her and come closer.

But the young Seedling’s sleepy eyes are focused on the girl on the seat. With another of those sunshiny smiles, Britt reaches out, and the girl eagerly sits up and takes her hand. It’s Penny, with her pixie cut standing up in funny directions after pressing against the back of the seat for so long. Nicole has a perfect view of Penny’s sweet little bottom, her cheeks pale and round and riding high.

The two girls get close enough to embrace but instead kind of sway like they’re dancing, giggling and talking low to each other. Penny puts her forehead against Britt’s and they start girl-hearting, but while they do it their hands wander all over each other’s bodies, caressing and tracing their childish curves. Whatever they’re whispering gets interrupted a bit by the sighs and yummy noises they’re making.

An alarm sounds somewhere deep in Nicole’s mind, but it’s getting drowned out by the crashing feelings of pleasure and wanting that surge through her. She keeps squeezing herself watching the girls do their sensual dance, it’s so pretty, so nice to look at them. She’s still shaky and her tummy keeps clenching. When she lets out a helpless sigh, her breath fogs the glass.

The girl-hearting ends, and without breaking eye contact, Britt takes Penny’s hand and draws her further into the RV and out of sight, to where she can hear those other girl voices, giggling and tickling and making sounds of delighted surprise.

As soon as they’re out of sight, the dismay in her starts forcing its way to the front. And when it gets to the point where it’s conscious thought, it’s only two words: Where’s Abbey?

There’s something akin to panic rising in her. She’s so confused right now, her thinking and her wanting wrestling for control. That naughty feeling is rousing itself hotly all through her middle, enjoying the sight of such cute bare bodies, of those enticing, mysterious sounds, despite her protective feelings and what she knows is the right thing to do. She’s torn, worried about what might be happening to her little sister but at the same time feeling almost compelled to keep touching herself. Her hand’s still poised, her muff is steamy, and her body is singing that this is more important than anything.

But concern for her sister wins out, and the panic starts to gallop. Abbey might be in there doing who knows what! What if it’s something to do with their muffs, like she’s doing now?! If they’re looking at them, or touching them? Would that be good or bad or something else entirely? Does she want Abbey knowing about that, doing that? What would Mom think?

Her first thought is to run around the door and pound on it, demand to be let in. But that thought scares her, too. What’s happening inside is a complete unknown. It’s so much bigger and stranger than she’s ready to deal with.

She’s ashamed at what she thinks next. It’s so stupid, so childish. But she can’t help it. She wants her Mommy.

Continue on to Chapter 7

By Mommy Janice

Note to the reader:

I was inspired to write this story after reading The Joy of Looking by Naughty Mommy. Her epic story gave me hope that I could put into words my feelings. Naughty Mommy, you are an exceptional writer! I also want to thank my partner, Angie, and Naughty Mommy for their edits.

A little about me:

I am a single mom and college teacher, with grown daughters. This story refers back to a time when I started my teaching career at a small Liberal Arts college in New England. My daughter, Angie, was six at the time.

Please note — This story is fiction, any references to real people is coincidental.

Angie, my six-year-old daughter, was sitting on Carol’s lap. It was our first visit to the Mother/Daughter Support Group. Carol was the founder and matriarch. The dozen or so mothers and daughters were sitting in a circle. Most of the daughters were sitting on their mother’s lap. A few were old enough to sit in their own chair.

“Moms and daughters,” Carol said, calling the group to order. The side conversations came to an end. Once the room was quiet, Carol spoke.

“I would like to introduce Angie to you.” She gently stroked Angie’s back and said, “How old are you Angie?”

“Six going on seven,” Angie replied.

“And who is this?” Carol asked her, looking at me.

“That’s my mom, Janice,” she answered.

Carol looked at me and said, “Welcome, Janice. We’re delighted you have come. Please tell us about yourself.”

“Well,” I hesitated, feeling a little shy, “I am new.”

The women in the room giggled. It was obvious I was new. “Angie and I recently moved here. I’ve taken a teaching position at the college and would like to make new friends.”

Carol said, “You came to the right place and we welcome you to our group.”

Carol explained that this was the formal part of the weekly meeting. Moms and daughters would have a chance to share with the group. The first mom to share told the group how her daughter had won the spelling bee. As the sharing went on, moms became more personal. One mother spoke of the difficulty she was having with her daughter’s teacher. As she was speaking, I noticed that one of the little girls, about Angie’s age, began to unbutton her mother’s blouse. Her mother smiled at her, and gave the child a kiss on the forehead. Once unbuttoned, her mother lifted her breast out of her bra and gently brought it to her daughter’s waiting mouth. The girl latched on and began nursing. No one seemed to pay any attention, except me. Carol saw my obvious staring.

Carol said, “It is common for moms to nurse in the group.”

“Does this happen often?” I asked.

“More often than not,” Carol replied, as she gently caressed my daughter’s neck and back. “It is a way for mothers and daughters to become closer.” At that point, Carol leaned over and whispered something in Angie’s ear. Angie smiled and nodded as if to say, ‘yes’.

The nursing mother was serene. Her daughter’s eyes were closed with her hand resting on her mother’s breast. I felt conflicted. It was strange to see a six-year-old nursing, especially in front of others. Yet, watching the mother’s serenity made me ache between my legs. I felt the yearning to breastfeed. I wondered if Angie would like that. It did not take long to find out.

After the formal part, the mothers broke up into small groups and chatted around the punch bowl. The girls went off to play. Carol introduced me to several women, including the nursing mom. Her name was Candice. As she shook my hand, I felt connection with her. I felt a sensual chemistry between us.

“Come with me.” Carol said, taking my hand and leading me to a small anteroom. She sat in a chair. I sat on the couch. “Women who join our group find themselves growing closer to their daughters. They create bonds that last a lifetime. Is that something you might want?”

“What do you mean by growing closer?” I asked.

“Intimate, sensual, loving,” Carol replied. I was afraid to ask how intimate, but wanted to. Just as I was about to get up the courage to ask, Angie entered, came to me, and sat on my lap.

“Angie,” Carol said, “earlier I asked you if you wanted to nurse like the other girl did tonight. Do you remember?”

“Yes,” Angie replied.

“Why don’t you ask your mom if she would like that too?” Carol prompted.

“Mommy, can I? Can I nurse you like the girl did?”

Looking into my daughter’s eyes, I saw her love for me. I was overwhelmed with love for her. A tear welled up in my eye, “Yes darling,” I answered.

I was wearing a loose-fitting sweater. My sweet daughter raised the hem. I raised my arms, and she lifted it over my head, placing it on the couch next to her.

Carol could see it would be difficult for me to get my breast out of the bra. My breasts are small. She came over and said, “Let me help you.” She unfastened the back and gently placed my bra on my sweater.

Angie nuzzled up to my left breast, latched on, and began nursing. Carol whispered in my ear, “She loves you very much.” Carol kissed me on the cheek and left us to our intimacy.

It was pure bliss. I was serene. Angie’s eyes were closed. She was very relaxed, almost asleep. We shared a moment together that I will keep in my heart forever.

When we returned to the group, many of the mothers and daughters had departed. Candice and another mom were standing with Carol. They were listening, almost as if Carol were giving them instructions. They nodded in agreement. Each mom kissed Carol on the lips, then departed.  Only Angie, Carol, and I remained.

“I was pleased to see you and Angie bond tonight.” she said. “Nursing is the first step in your journey. If you allow me, I would like to be your guide. I can help. Is this something you want?”

I did. I wanted it very much. My sex was aching. I was wet. Nursing my six-year-old daughter had kindled a fire in me. I only hoped Angie had the same feelings. “Yes, I do. I want your help.”

“Angie,” Carol asked, “do you want this too? Do you want to become closer to your mommy?” Angie threw her arms around my waist, looked up at me and said, “Mommy, I love you. Yes, I want this too.” Tears welled up as I was overwhelmed with joy.

“I have a test for you two.” Carol said. “Each day, find a special time when Angie can nurse. If you both are willing, come to our next group meeting. It is something you both have to enter into willingly. It cannot be coerced.” Carol leaned forward and kissed me on the lips. Then she kissed Angie on the lips too.

Driving home, I was lost in feelings of love and sensuality. Angie was lovey-dovey, holding my hand, stroking my legs, and begging me to nurse her to sleep, which I did, every night for the next week.

Continue on to Chapter 2

2

Error happened.

Affirmation

By eloquent delinquent

Mom and Sophie are out front still visiting on the driveway when Nicole meets them, and the two mothers have an awkward goodbye of their own. On the drive home, she and Mom don’t talk hardly at all. The ten year old is too wrapped up in her own thoughts. It takes her a while to notice that Mom is just as quiet and preoccupied as her. For a silly second, she wonders if Mom and Sophie have been girl-hearting, too.

At home, dinner whizzes by as well. Abbey teases her a bit about how distracted she is, but it’s only because her little sister wants attention. Soon, Mom and Auntie Roo are entertaining enough so that she leaves Nicole to her thoughts.

Auntie Roo’s real name is Ruth-Anne, but Abbey called her that when she was two and it stuck. Part of why Mom moved here was to be closer to her sister, who lives like half an hour down the coast with Uncle Dan but no kids. Mom considers Roo a hippie, like Cassidy’s mother, even though she doesn’t dress funny like Cassidy’s mom does, and she doesn’t live on a farm. She does computers and loves electronic gadgets. Either there’s something about hippies that Nicole doesn’t know, or Mom’s definition is a little broad.

Mom’s kinda taken aback when Nicole tells her about swimming with no clothes on, but Auntie Roo calls it ‘skinny dipping’ and seems impressed by her daring. Maybe that’s what makes her a hippie. Mom seems more concerned with what Katie and Mrs Greenberg thought, but telling her they weren’t upset seems to soothe her nerves.

Eventually Abbey wanders to the living room to watch TV, and Auntie Roo opens another bottle of wine and she and Mom go out to the porch to drink it while they watch the sunset. Nicole finally finds herself unsupervised, and she immediately heads for the bedroom she shares with Abbey, flopping on her bed with a great big sigh.

The memories of her day dance through her head, and as she recalls the sensations it’s like her body relives them, little thrills and shivers wash over her. Especially when she remembers being naked in the water or those kisses – oh god Lena kissed me, so cool! And so did Mrs Greenberg! – her skin seems to shimmer. And that soft, hot feeling under her skirt, the one that got her on the bike and shot through her when Lena’s lips were on hers, it hasn’t gone away. Remembering just wakes it back up again.

She’s never really thought much about her puss, except as the part you went to the bathroom with, but in the weeks she’s been hanging out with the Scouts, she’s felt compelled to think about it a lot. Jenny showed Nicole hers that first day, under the table at the market. And now she finds out that none of them wear panties at all when they’re dressed for Scouts. She can’t help but think about it. But what about them? By never having panties on, and being naked in front of each other like it’s no big deal, does that mean they think more about their girly parts? Or less?

It must be less, she decides, because if their little pusses felt the way hers did right now, they’d be too mixed up to ever get anything done. At this moment, like so many times today, hers feels swollen and tender and almost pulsing, and it’s almost like an ache but it doesn’t hurt. So weird. Is there something wrong with her?

She thinks, Well, it’s only a matter of flipping up your skirt to find out, haha, it’s not like you have any panties on! And then she’s reminded that oh geez, Hanna still has her panties. She’ll have to get them back before laundry day and Mom finding out. And she thinks about seeing Jenny’s naked muff all pink beneath her Forest Explorer skirt, and little Joy rucking up her dress to her waist revealing her bare body to her mother, and Fawn’s smooth crease next to her at the pool right there at face level, close enough to kiss and — oh my god why did I think that?!?!

That puffy, simmering ache-that-isn’t just gets stronger, and it occurs to her that obsessing like this means that somehow she likes it. And it’s plain to her now that she does. She was as happy in that pool as if she’d been in a room made of fudge cake. She’s fantasized about Lena snuggling and being affectionate, and seeing her nude body today only compelled her to get closer, wanting to touch, to feel her pale supple body in the water. She adores seeing Fawn and Cassidy flirt and smooch, and getting kissed (twice!) today was the most crazy happy thing she’s ever felt. If it leaves her muff feeling this way, maybe there’s a reason.

Her thought about how simple it’d be to look at her privates just keeps echoing even as she’s thinking of this other stuff. And now, almost without planning to, she’s pulling a couple pillows over to prop up her back. Once that’s done and she’s squished them enough to be comfortable, she parts her knees wide, the soles of her sneakers touched together, and reaches down to lift her green pleated skirt. It’s light and flips right up, revealing her bare, non-pantied puss to her curious gaze. It’s as smooth and petite as it ever was, but now it really does look a little puffy and bright pink. Not normal like the girls at the pool, but more like Jenny that first day, showing her under the table. A pink Nicole’s always thought of as a happy color, the pink of a birthday balloon or strawberry hard candy.

Did Jenny feel the way she does now?

On top of being all pink, her puss looks shiny, and the air hitting it now makes it tingle with the cool. How is she still wet? It can’t be from the pool. Oh no, did she pee a little?! At this point she’s so confused anything seems possible. She checks her skirt in a panic, but there’s no wet spot there, and none on her legs. So, wondering even more about herself, she reaches down with both hands to investigate. She wipes some of the wetness off her mound near the crease, and it’s so sensitive there that she goes, “unh,” and her hips twitch. The fluid is more oily than watery, and it’s left a sticky spot all around her girly area. As her fingers explore the insides of her thighs and the little valleys where her legs join her butt, she realizes how much there is.

While she’s doing this, the round base of one thumb accidentally brushes her crease, and her body’s response is so intense that she gasps and snatches her hand back. It takes a second to process the feeling. At first she thought she might be hurt, but as the sensation zings through her, it’s not like being hurt at all. It’s kinda the opposite!

Curiosity gets the better of her and she brushes her muff again, a little more deliberately, and this time there’s a surge of unprecedented but undeniable pleasure down there. And then it’s like more than just down there! It’s all over inside her, spreading like a tingly wave all the way to her scalp and the arches of her feet. And this time, she’s sure that she’s the source of the wetness. Between her legs, she is slick with something that isn’t pee.

With the lightest of touches, Nicole explores herself lower down where she can hardly see, slipping over the delicate folds of little lips that are only exposed because she’s parted her legs so wide. Each little touch and slide and press gives her more of those mysterious good feelings, a sparkle of blissful lightning that zips all through her. Getting a bit more comfortable with it, or maybe just wanting more, she runs a finger all the way along her slick little groove, and the wave of pleasure is so strong and wonderful.

She lifts her knees and tips her hips up. Her skirt flops onto her belly, her bare lower half lifted into the air, legs still spread wide, and now she can see what she’s touching a bit better. Who guessed her puss would suddenly be so fascinating? But it is, and she rests one hand on the inside of her little thigh, using her fingers to open up the crease. It makes a creamy sound as it parts, she is so wet and bright pink there! And it seems crazy even to think, maybe it’s just the sensations she’s having, but it looks so pretty to her right now.

Nicole starts touching inside the lips of her puss, in the hot wet pink of it, and it’s even more intense, even the daintiest of contact makes her quietly go, “ah, ah,” and she squirms a little from how sensitive she is. Breathing fast now and feeling hot all over, she gets bolder and cups her hand over her whole girly area. She sighs, her legs quiver, and her eyes slip shut. The warmth of her palm and the heat from her puss combine and trap the feeling there, making her glow with excitement. She’s can’t seem to catch her breath now, and feels damp sweat breaking out all under her blouse and socks.

She nestles her two middle fingers deliciously into her soft wet puss, and gives it just the fondest little squeeze. It’s amazing! Her thighs buck and her tummy clenches, forcing a happily surprised grunt out of her. Panting, she lets up the pressure and lets her body relax from that vivid shock of pleasure.

And as soon as she’s settled down, she squeezes again, getting the same blissful jerk as before, and this time her moan ends in a soft chuckle. This feels so good!

Nicole lays there for she doesn’t know how long, squeezing and jolting and contentedly unwinding only to repeat the joy. The sensation is pure pleasure and she can’t compare it to anything else she’s ever felt. She happily gives in to it. Her eyelids flutter, but they’re rolled up to the whites and she’s not really seeing anything. Her ten year old mind is matching images to the sensations she’s experiencing – each Scout undressing, Mrs Greenberg looking down on her, Fawn’s exposed muff, Hanna climbing dripping naked from the pool, Lena sliding against her, Lena’s mouth on hers – and she drifts in this dreamlike state of excitement.

That is, until she hears footsteps on the stairs and is whipped right back into reality. Her eyes snap open and look to the door, and in a panic sees that it got caught on some of Abbey’s things on the floor and is still about half open. She feverishly pulls her hands away from their sweet little treasure, flips her skirt back down, tries to sit up as her body tingles and protests.

It’s only as she focuses and gets her breath back that she realizes that the footsteps she heard were going downstairs and not up. Oh god, somebody was already up here! Did they see? Her face blazes in a furious blush as she imagines if Mom, or Abbey, or Roo saw her touching herself. Would she be in trouble? Was she doing something wrong? She’d never heard anyone even talk about doing this, or how good it felt. What if she’s a freak?

Nicole sits there, guiltily wringing her sticky hands, before she takes a deep breath and forces herself to go downstairs. When she gets there, Auntie Roo is getting ready to go, Mom is clearly a little woozy from the wine, and the combined goodbye hugs are just enough to tempt Abbey away from My Little Pony. Roo embraces Nicole, tells her again how smart she looks in the uniform, and gives her a peck on the cheek. But nobody seems to surprised to see her, or suspicious that she was gone for however much time that was. Everything’s normal.

It stays that way after Roo leaves, too. Mom seems really relaxed and a little out of it, so Nicole offers to be nice and do the dishes. The thanks Mom gives her for it is kind of over the top, so grateful it’s kinda stupid. She sits at their little kitchen table and watches as Nicole scrubs and rinses and racks them up. They had take-out, so they didn’t cook anything and there’s really not that much to do.

As she starts toweling them dry, Mom says to her back, “It’s quite a change, isn’t it?”

Nicole muses, “Yeah, but it’s good.”

She can practically hear Mom nod when she goes, “Mm-hmm.”

“So you like it too?”

“I think so. I’m still adjusting, that’s for sure, but there’s a lot here I’m starting to like. At first, it seemed so strange. But now, I think maybe I’ve been a little set in my ways. It’s kind of a challenge, being here, don’t you think?”

“I dunno. Everybody’s so nice. I mean, there’s a lot to learn and stuff, but if I can get in the Scouts, I think they’ll help and it’ll be… I dunno, better. Just, better.”

Plates and glasses clink for a moment before Mom says, “I think moving here makes me realize how grownup you are now. You’re not just a little girl, you’re a person with your own mind and needs and goals. I didn’t think anything good would come out of me and your Dad… you know. But now, it’s like it’s only made you more independent, stronger.”

She gets a pang thinking about the divorce, but she still hears what Mom’s saying. “Thanks.”

“Y’know, you’re getting to be that age when things are really gonna change, grownup things are going to start to leak into your life, little by little. And though I’m sure…” she slurs that word a little and corrects herself, “…certain, you can handle it, I want you to know, I’m here, right? If anything happens that makes you confused, or worried, or even scared, you can just ask me, okay?”

Nicole puts the last glass in the drying rack and turns, wondering where this came from, but still responds, “Okay.”

Mom’s face gets serious, “I mean it. Life is… well, really weird, so we have to look out for each other. Anything.”

The ten year old nods somberly, and she thinks she has to ask something, anything, just to show that she gets it. And she has such a welter of questions she wants to ask, so many mysterious things going on in her life and in herself that she could really use a clue about. But looking at Mom, having to confess this stuff to the most important person in her life, it’s so hard. It, like, catches in her throat, struggling equally hard to come out and stay hidden.

So she hangs the dish towel up, and while her back is still turned she shrugs a little and hesitantly forces out, “Can… you get a, a crush, like, on another girl?”

Mom chuckles, “Oh wow, yes. Yes you can. Can you ever.”

“Is that weird? Liking a girl that way, instead of a boy?”

“No. It’s fine, it happens all the time. Especially at your age.”

“What does that mean?”

“You’re just finding out about all these feelings, all these amazing, scary feelings, and they’ll come at you out of nowhere and feel really strong. Sometimes they’ll pass, sometimes they’ll stay. You should just let it happen. Getting to know your heart’s like learning to ride a bike. At first, you’re all wobbly, and you just try to figure out how to do it and not fall over. But later, you figure it all out and all you think about is where you want it to take you. Okay?”

Nicole feels relieved and amazed and thankful that her Mom is so smart, even if she is a little drunk. A bright smile crosses her face and she nods sharply, “Okay!”

“Good.” Mom wants to ask more, she can tell. Or maybe she wants Nicole to ask more. But talking about that was hard enough, it’ll have to do for now.

Mom seems okay with it.

For the next few days it’s like that, kinda normal but with this new kind of dimension opening up that’s totally new, as new as the town. It’s like in a book, where you start another chapter and you realize how much is different from where you began. She and Mom feel a little more like a… team? She feels more grownup, especially compared to Abbey who is so, like, seven, and Mom is treating her a bit different. Kind of respecting her.

She still worries about the Scouting thing. What if they don’t take her? Will she still be friends with the girls? It seems so awful to imagine losing them after everything was going so well, such a lonesome place, like where she was before she walked up to their cookie sale at the market. She doesn’t want to go back there.

And they’ve opened up a new chapter in Nicole. Without them, she never would’ve had these feelings, not just in her heart but in her body, too. Wow, it’s less like a chapter and more like a whole other book!

Call it, The Mystery of How Can This Feel So Good? And she solves it every time she can.

It’s crazy how obsessed she is with thinking about touching her muff, or actually touching it. She does it a couple of times a day. Now that she’s experienced those exquisite, gushy sensations, she wants them more and more. It’s almost like that time she ate a whole bag of Hershey’s Kisses, only better and without feeling gross after.

She’s squeezed down there when she’s in bed a few times, but last time Abbey groaned and sleepily murmured, “Are you okay?” And even though she was way past okay, she settled down and hadn’t since. Whenever she finds herself alone, she’s tempted, and usually she can’t resist, unbuttoning and unizpping and slipping a hand between her legs. It feels good to squeeze even over her panties, but it’s better to wriggle her fingers under the waistband and feel the damp, happy heat of her puss right against her hand. She wants more skirts now, though; she only has a couple, and the pants thing takes too long. She’s done it while she’s watching TV, or leaning back against the counter in the bathroom, even sitting at the kitchen table with Abbey right across from her, eating her Apple Jacks. The best is in the shower, though – it’s so hot and slippery and she’ll soap and soap until there’s this great mound of lather, suds sliding down the insides of her legs.

Squeeze, and release; squeeze, and release. Ah.

When she does it she has to be careful, because once she gets going she can’t think of anything else, the thrilling pleasure becomes everything, and all she wants to do. She feels like an animal maybe, like a dog that once you start rubbing its belly it never wants you to stop. And there’s something more, driving her to keep going, like she’s heading toward something but she never gets there or even knows where to go. She doesn’t even know if there’s anything to head for. It’s still a little frustrating, despite the bliss, because it feels like she’s never done. When she stops, it’s only minutes before she starts to consider when she can do it again.

That weekend, there’s two phone calls. Mom gets one Friday night, and when it rings late Saturday afternoon, Mom’s barely handed it to her before Lena’s yelling, “Nicki! Nicki! I’ve gotta see you can you come over?!”

Nicole doesn’t like that nickname but Lena’s so excited that she laughs, but has to say, “It’ll be dark soon and Mom’s making dinner, I don’t think I can ride that far this late.”

“Hmm,” Lena goes on the other end, and Nicole can envision her friend’s dark eyebrows knitted in that scheming look she gets sometimes. Then she asks, “Can you meet me at Pinewood Park?”

That’s a huge woody park about halfway between her place and Lena’s. It’s on a hill next to a golf course and covered in trails that runners and dog-walkers use. Lena’s showing her how all the paths join up together, but Nicole’s still learning her way around.

“It’s only for a few minutes,” Lena presses.

“I guess so, but where?”

“Do you remember how to get to the split rock?”

The split rock is this huge sandstone boulder, twice as tall as them, that’s kind of hidden off one of the side trails. It’s cracked down the middle wide enough for the girls to walk or ride through. There’s a whole bunch of ferns growing on the top and kinda down the sides and it makes a kind of canopy overhead. She puts the map together in her head and replies, “Yeah, I think so.”

“Meet me there!”

Nicole can’t possibly refuse, so a few minutes later, she’s leaning her bike against the split rock. Lena’s not there, and it’s very still. The cooling air smells woodsy and nice. The sun’s setting and there’s no clouds so the huge pines and cedars are just these massive shadows surrounded by blazing orange light. She muses, plucks at the hem of one of her two skirts, wonders if she’s got time to squeeze for a minute while she’s all alone here. The thought of seeing Lena again has her so excited, she’s tempted, but she decides not to. It’d be embarrassing to get caught doing it, even by her.

A few minutes Lena comes clattering up, wearing her daywear uniform for some reason. She just drops her bike and dashes over to Nicole, wrapping her in this hard, bracing hug so fast Nicole barely has time to hug back.

Lena pulls away and takes Nicole’s hand in both of hers. Her dark hair is loose, it’s the first time Nicole’s seen her that way, and it slides and drapes over the girl’s shoulder in this pretty, silky way. Lena just stares at her with a bright, expectant expression and says, “So?!”

“So what?”

The girl actually squirms when she clarifies, “So aren’t you excited?!”

It dawns on her what Lena might be telling her. “About what?”

“Didn’t Tender Katie call your mom last night? I heard my Mom saying that she did.”

“Yeah.”

“And aren’t they going to meet and talk?”

“Well yeah, on Monday night. Roo’s coming to babysit.”

Lena lets go of her hand. “Well? don’t you get it?! Katie talks one-on-one to all the moms right before the girls get sworn in. To let them know about everything we do, even the things we can’t talk about outside the troop.”

There! There it is, there were secrets all along. She knew it!

She tries to keep her cool when she asks, “Like what kind of things?”

Rolling her eyes, Lena says, “Then they wouldn’t be secrets! But it’s not giving it away if I said that not every mom lets their girl join after the talk. I heard my Mom saying that she wasn’t worried about your mom, though. She really likes her.”

Nicole takes this all in, but she’s still hung up on what Lena said before. “Oh, come on. Tell me one. One secret, just so I know what it’s like.”

“We’re really not supposed to. I already showed you girl-hearting.”

She turns on the charm. “But I came all this way just to see you. Pleeease?”

With a little pout, Lena folds. “Oh, okay, but just one. And you can’t ever tell I showed you.”

“I promise.”

“Okay.” She gets that scheming look again for a minute, then she perks up and tells her, “We can do the affirmation, that’d be all right.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s something we do at the start of our meetings on Fridays. Katie thought it up, just like girl-hearting. An affirmation is like this thing you tell yourself so that you can stay focused, and not lose sight of important stuff.”

“How does it go?”

Lena blushes enough that Nicole can see it, even as the sunset fades from orange to pink. “Well, it’s a little strange…”

“I don’t care. Show me.”

Lena shrugs in this you asked for it kind of way, and steps closer, almost as close as girl-hearting, and she says, “You don’t have to remember what to say now, just listen. You’ll have to memorize it later, though.”

Nicole nods, anticipating.

Setting her chin, Lena goes, “Okay,” and reaches out toward Nicole down low. Her hand tosses Nicole’s skirt up, reaches underneath, and in a second Lena’s fingers are snuggling between her legs, hand cupping her muff the way she does herself when she squeezes. Nicole gasps, stiffens in surprise at the contact.

“It’s all right it’s all right, don’t be nervous,” Lena soothes in a rush. “This is just how we do it.”

Do what?! Nicole thinks, her breath heaving. The sensation of Lena’s warm hand through her panties makes it nearly impossible to concentrate on anything else. Is she going to squeeze her? Does she do it too? Do ALL of them?? On some absurd level Nicole’s suddenly convinced that everybody knows she does it, and this is the start of her being mocked for being so bizarre.

Instead, Lena watches her face for a second before she says, “You have to pull your panties down, though.”

No panties in Scouts, Nicole thinks. Wasn’t that a secret, too? So after a second’s hesitation she does it. Lena moves her hand back just far enough so that Nicole can duck and slip them down to her knees. But as soon as she straightens Lena cups her puss again, and it’s just as hot and alarming and delicious as it was before. Oh god oh god, can Lena feel her getting wet?

Assuming a bit wider stance, Lena tells her, “Now you do me too.”

Wide-eyed, Nicole forces her hand to extend. She fluffs aside Lena’s green pleated skirt, and thrills as underneath it she skims her fingertips up the smooth warmth of Lena’s thighs. And when she reaches the top, she’s actually trembling to feel the silky heat of her bare little puss and it’s so so soft and amazing. She can’t believe she’s touching Lena like this. And as she wiggles her fingers along the tender flesh of her crease, cupping her palm over Lena’s mound, imitating her friend as best as her addled mind can manage, she’s astonished to feel that familiar puffy slickness between her friend’s legs. Lena shivers and lets out a breathy giggle to feel her down there.

Maybe she’s not the only freak, after all.

Lena’s eyes light up with every adjustment Nicole’s fingers make as she settles in. When that’s done, Lena tries to collect herself, chuffing out a little sigh. Nicole herself is trying hard to restrain the inexplicable urge her hips have to thrust themselves into Lena’s snuggling hand.

“Ready?”

Nicole thinks maybe she’s able to nod.

So then, with a tiny exciting wiggle of her hand down there, Lena tells her, “This is you. You’re a girl, and this is what makes you one. Others will expect you not to talk or even think about this part, the one so important to who you are. But we are girls, and we are Scouts. Within the comfort of this troop, we will experience and celebrate every part of being a girl. Together, we’ll share our joys and our secrets.”

Affirmation. Nicole’s green eyes stay open wide, her mouth open, a little slack. She’s stunned – by what she’s feeling, by what she’s just heard. She feels like a sky has cleared of clouds to show her the stars, and the constellations she might make of them. She isn’t the only one who’s discovered the hidden joy that waits between her legs, it’s all of them. All of them. And she’s so close to learning what they know but can’t tell.

Lena leans toward Nicole’s astonished face, foreheads touching, girl-hearting. Catching Nicole’s dazzled gaze, holding it, her dark hair streaming forward and draping them off from the outside world, Lena whispers, “There’s so much I can’t wait to do with you.”

She tries to think of something to say, but before she can she’s being kissed, hard, hungrily. Nicole feels like she might go up in flames, like there’s this live cable between where Lena’s lips are plushing against her mouth and where her hand tenderly captures the keen tingling heat in her muff. Their mouths open again, like before, and Lena’s kissing her so eagerly that Nicole’s head is tipping back, surrendering. And then she feels Lena’s tongue brush her own, and it’s electric! If she wasn’t pinned by her passion, she would pull back. But it brushes again, wet and hot and agile and so thrilling that her own tongue twitches and rises in response, seeking more of that feeling.

They tease tongues, sharing sharp breaths. Nicole’s fingers twitch excitedly against Lena’s sultry puss and the dark haired girl shivers and groans into Nicole’s mouth. Wow it’s so exciting to hear Lena make noises like that! Her ten year old body overloads with the circuit of pleasure they’ve created.

With one last, fervent press Lena ends the kiss, removes her hand, and steps back. She giggles breathlessly, shaking her head to clear it, her hair swishing around. Nicole tries to stop quivering, holding her hand gently to her tummy. She looks wonderingly at her friend.

“That last part doesn’t normally happen,” Lena says.

“The kissing part?” Nicole responds. “But I liked that part, a lot!”

Lena smiles, “Me too. But promise you won’t tell.”

“I already did. I super promise.”

“Okay.” For a second, it looks like Lena is going to approach her again, Nicole’s heart soars in anticipation, but then she starts to back reluctantly away, toward her bike. “I should probably go.”

“You sure?” Although Nicole can see the sunset fading just fine.

“Yeah,” Lena says apologetically. She rights her bike, climbs on. “Call me as soon as you find out, okay? Promise?”

“I promise,” Nicole assures. At this point she’d promise Lena anything. “See you tomorrow!” she calls as she watches her ride off, then ducks down and draws her panties back up, straightens her skirt. Ambling to her own bike, she touches her lower lip, pausing thoughtfully, then starts pedaling back down the trail.

She gets about three quarters of the way through the park, within sight of the street that ends the narrow trail, when she looks behind, sees no one in either direction, and swings off the path to the left, crashing through ferns and bushes for a few yards. Leaping off and carelessly dropping the bike, she scurries over to the largest cedar in sight and circles it, putting its massive trunk between her and the trail.

Backing up against its rough layered bark, Nicole sets her feet wide, and lifts her skirt with one hand while the other plunges into her panties. Closing her palm between her legs, fingers forming to the shape of her desperately excited muff, she squeezes, and lets out a shaky moan as all that bliss gushes into her body. She squeezes again and again, hardly pausing in between, the sensations carrying her away, reveling in the memory of what just happened with Lena. She can’t see the expression of almost pained ecstasy on her ten year old face, unaware of the quiet sobs that escape her as she pleasures herself. More than ever before, she senses in the thrilling wash of sensations that somewhere in her is an edge, a peak, and she struggles to reach it, the feelings getting stronger, winding her up, up.

Headlights sweeping the woods to her right, the sound of a car rushing past nearby, startle her out of her joy. Her head’s tipped back, scalp touching the cedar’s trunk. and opening her eyes she only sees the palest violet of light sketching the tangled boughs overhead. Although her hips pump enticingly, she forces herself to stop, heart pounding. She straightens out her clothes, brushes bark flakes off her rump and shoulders, and by the time she picks her way back to her bike, she’s almost breathing normally.

She walks back to the trail, sets the bike on it, and mounts. As she reaches the openness of houses and pavement, the ordered streets, the streetlights begin to flicker on.

Continue on to Chapter 6